im a male 30 years old, and i have a female friend 21years old, and she injures herself alot. she calls me all the time to talk and i listen the best i can, i try to give her advice the best i can,but in the end she just ends up injuring anyways, we’re not dating so theres no romantic connection, i just really care about her and i feel like i have to help her, i cant just turn my back on her. i just dont know how to help her, she says if i contact the authorities it would ruin the trust she has in me and she wont talk to me about it anymore. she says im the only one she does talk to about it. but im just so deathly afraid and i know its only a matter of time before she goes to far. i feel completly helpless, if anybody has any ideas please help me help my friend before its to late. thank you so much
I’m so sorry about your situation. I don’t exactly know how much help I can be of to you, but I’ll try my best to give you some advice. You can tell her to call 1800DONTCUT, I know that I have called them a few times. It’s an information line, but they can help. She can also call 800 273-TALK – a 24/7 line and they have helped me get through the night. Encourage her to get a psychologist, cause i hope she realizes that you can only help her so much… Sometimes, though, it’s for the better that you tell the authorities or call the hospital. Even though it may ruin her trust in you temporarily, if it protects her and keeps her safe, it will be worth it. My friend forced me to tell my parents, and although I hated her for making me do it, I am so thankful today, because I finally got the help I needed. If you can physically be with her when she needs help, it may help her not to SI. Try setting small goals for her, like, “I will not SI as badly as the night before” or “I will only SI once today”. Just always be there for her, stay optimistic, recognize her “faulty thinking”, and HAVE HOPE. I don’t know exactly if you’re religious or not, but God has always been there for me and given me advice… So, if you are a believer, talk to him, and ask for help.
You both are in my prayers.
yourguardianangel
I’m so proud of you for wanting to help your friend out..she’s lucky to have you. You have to teach her that self injury isn’t the answer to your problems…it only helps you hide from them and pushes them aside. You have to give her resources. God is an important thing in a recovering person’s life…offer to take her to church, pray for her, stuff like that. And as for the resources thing, there’s alot of websites. She could come to SAFE, that will help her alot. The blog is a great resource for help. Also, theselfinjuryfoundation.com can help both of you out. Tell her to call you BEFORE she injures, instead of after. Picking up the phone is really important.
Good luck with her, I hope she’s okay.
<3 rescue
Wow…you are a saint!!! This is something really great that you are taking on. She is very very lucky to have you in her life. However, she probably doesn’t care about much right now. Rescue and Angel are right, give her hotlines. Calling is one of the best things to do!!! It is going to be very difficult though unless she gets some sort of professional help. She has to want to stop, and she has to reconginze that SI is not a solution, but part of the problem. It is not an answer to whatever it is that is eating her! You stay strong…I will pray for you and for her!!! Just remember that you are a good person and what you are doing for her, most people wouldn’t.
Have you seen the information on this site under “resources” then “interventions”? Friends are wonderful but she also needs professional help and helping her research how to obtain and pay for that might be very useful.
Have you talked to her about alternatives? Like what she could do instead of S.I. that grants her the same results. For me, painting is often something I can do to get my mind off of SI. Of course she needs to know exactly what triggers her to do so and why she does it. For instance, I do it to calm myself down and/or avoid emotions. There are plenty of other ways to calm myself down so when I feel myself losing control I’ll grab my brush instead. Its not as immediate a release but when I’m patient with myself I can keep myself from S.I.
Just a suggestion, but of course give her the hotlines