today is my first day bloging. The last 6 months of my life have been the worst i have ever had. I had the urge again, when i remembered an ex of mine, who broke up with me 2 months ago. He was my first true love, and he broke me. I started injuring myself while we were dating, i was having trouble with my parents and some friends, and i was experimenting with hurting myself.  Im 14 and im injuring myself too often, its an addiction, i cant stop. I have a new boyfriend, but i feel like i am using him to get over my last, which doesnt make me feel any better about myself, he called me just as i was about to injure, i was balling, and i told him what i was about to do, and he made me promise that i would get help, so here i am, not knowing what im doing anymore, feeling worthless, like life has no meaning for me, i know i need help, but im too scared to get it, in a way i dont want to stop, because its a comfort to me, to know that im still alive, that there is other pain, than the one just in my heart, i grieve for my ex, i cry over him everyday, my mom and i are in constant uproar with eachother, i dont know what to do anymore, i need help