So… I’ve been pretty down lately but I think I might be doing something something so much worse. I’ve been injuring and it makes me feel better but I wanna stop so bad but I’m not sure I have the strength to do it… I know it’s crazy but it seems better than SI in my usual way. I’ve been going to church lately and I want to be closer to God but I have no idea how… I know I have to trust in Him but it’s hard because I haven’t been able to trust anyone all my life. Oh why, why, why does being happy have to be sooo unreachable?