I feel so mixed right now. I don’t really know why. I kept myself from SI-ing last night, and am proud for that. I decided to take my dogs for a walk to get my mind off of it, and it helped. But it’s so much harder at nighttime. All you can do is lie there in your bed…thinking. It’s all really starting to get to my head, though. The craving for SI.
During school today (lunchtime to be specific), there were marks on the table, and they looked like my injuries. I sat there, and just stared, and wanted so badly to slip away, go to the bathroom, and SI. It took everything in me not to do it.
Corinne (my best friend) noticed something weird about me. She keeps glancing to see if there are any new injuries.
I don’t know how I’m going to get through tonight, though…it’s gonna be a toughy.
Still trying to figure out how to tell my mom. Even though I want to, I’m scared to quit at the same time. I don’t know why….weird, huh?
Well, going now. I’m super tired, and am going to sleep for a bit.