Okay, so today was pretty good. Not too much happened. Well, the middle of the day sucked, but I got over that quickly.
Good news …I haven’t SI’d since my latest injury. So..that’s good, right? Lol. There have been moments where I just wanted to. But, I have a guilty conscience, and keep seeing so many faces in my head. All of the people who love me.
I have to ask myself. Why do I do this when I KNOW there are people who care about me? I mean, how lucky am I to have such love. Sadly, though, that thought only makes me injure even more. It makes me hate myself SO much. I mean, DESPISE myself.
I know “they” say you can’t love someone else without loving yourself…but can’t I try?
Thanks for your support again. =)
I go to my therapist alot of the time with nothing to talk about, nothing new. I’ve learned that having uneventful days or weeks can sometimes be a good thing…it means your life in a general sense is calm.
And the whole people who care about you thing, it shouldn’t drag you down. It should motivate you. Don’t think they’ll be disappointed. Think that they will forgive you, and you have to stay strong so that you can EARN that forgiveness.
And it’s true, you have to know and love yourself and God [if you believe in Him] before you can love others. Try filling that empty hole with things you like, and they will help you in finding yourself.
<3, rescue