I’ve relapsed. Again.
Why does this keep happening? There are SO many emotions inside me. First I’m up, then I’m down. I just want to run out in the middle of the street and scream. Scream at the top of my lungs. Bare the scars on me and scream, “SEE?! HERE IT IS!! TAKE A LOOK!”
As much as I am terrified, I’m desperate for someone to finally go, “Okay, you need help, and I’m going to assist you in getting it.” I want someone to take my injuries seriously. People just think I’m going to “get over it.” They’ve thought that for six years.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I can’t be your friend if you’re going to do this,” or “You’re just attention-seeking.”
Yeah. attention-seeking. Sure. So THAT’S why I keep doing it, huh?!
I just need an answer. Some hope.
The people around you aren’t mind readers, girl! Instead of just saying, oh yeah, I self-injure, tell them. I sef injure, I want to stop, and I need help. Have you considered telling your parents? They are the only ones who might help you in this situation, so you may want to consider sitting them down and talking to them. Tell them you think you need help. Telling your parents can be scary, but believe it or not, it made the relationship with my mom stronger.
<3, rescue
I’ve told a couple of my closest friends that I want and need help. I’ve asked one to be there with me to talk to my mom with me. He’s like a grandfather to me, and is in his 50s. He’s kinda like a spirtual counselor to me. So, yes, we’re VERY close.
I’m just trying to figure out if my mom’s insurance will cover a stay at S.A.F.E. She has Healthmark. I know that if I don’t receive some intense therapy, I’ll just keep relapsing. I don’t know how far I’ll go the next time I relapse, and that scares me.
It’s tough trying to figure out how to confront my mom again. I hate doing this to her, and that’s why I’ve kept this to myself.