today I did a draw of a girl that commited suicide… That girl represented me. Lately I have thought of this.

I posted the draw on one website because I usually post most of my draws there but I am thinking of deleting it… it is like…I did the draw to illustrate my desire, and I posted it so I could feel like it was more one draw than something more personal.but it is personal…it is what I wish right now.

I want to give up…

First I am depressed, than I start to feel numbness and then rage…and then I start to be depressed again. Yesterday night I fainted again…

I don’t want to fight anymore… I just want to stop thinking, stop feeling, stop everything…

what will I do? what I need to do?

gosh…I want to stop these tears so badly