Well let my start by saying my period of having no desire 2 b si free was short lived. As soon as 4 woke up the next morning, and saw my injuries, i felt it again. But somethings been bothering me lately. I feel like i didnt get as far n s.a.f.e as i should have. This is because practicly the whole time i was there i was numb. I didnt do anything 2 numb my self out, its just i was scared of the feelings i anticipated, so my mind blocked them out. It was the worst during my roleplays. Infact lauren kept asking me what i was feeling and i felt like i had 2 make up feelings that i thought i should have felt. I no that was a mistake. Is it my fault? Should i have somehow been able 2 make my self experience those feelings? Should i try s.a.f.e again? Do i deserve another chance? After all its only been since febuary that i graduated and im already injuring again. I want 2 have the oppertunity 2 not only process the events, i wanna process my feelings behind them 2. Idk what 2 do, i just wanna feel better and b si free.