Some minutes after my last post I  fainted.

My body didn’t bear up and because of my high fever I collapsed. My mom woke up because my body hit the floor and made noise. I came back this afternoon despite the doctor didn’t want me to leave the hospital yet. He saw my injuries and he wanted me to see a psychiatrist. But I didn’t want to… because I can’t talk to persons I don’t know. I even can’t go to a grocery store alone. Usually I go to a big shop where the shop assistant doesn’t talk to us. When I call some a friend and the person who answer is not the person I know I just hang up. It’s childish I know… but my voice starts trembling and I just can’t talk. If it is face-to-face most of times I start shedding tears.

Well… I just did end up coming home. When I got back my mom asked me to take my little sister for a walk. During the walk I bought her a sketch book and color pencils. My body hurt during all day.

a while ago, 12:05 a.m. I put a drawing that I made, a letter and 20€ in a envelope and left it in my mother’s bedside table.

The draw was a mother holding a baby. And the letter said:

“Hi mom… It is not really much but I hope you to enjoy it. About the money I want you to buy something you want. I am not good choosing presents so I prefer you to choose something. I hope you have a nice Mother’s Day. I love you really much…honestly.       Kisses, Sara”

I hope she likes it…