It seems to me that I am not being heard. I have gone to the mental hospital and told them I was suicidal, wrote my therapist a note stateing the same, talked to mental health proffessionals to try and get help, and even ended up in the hospital for the night and finally came into town to try and get help. They put me in the hospital for the night. The next morning the mental health lady asked me if I thought I would be ok if she let me out. I said, “Well, I wouldn’t trust me.” She still let me out. I don’t know how else I can ask for help. It just seems like either they don’t care or they’re just ignorrant. I told them I was going to go jump off the mountain cliff. I tried to walk up the trail but because I am disabled I couldn’t walk all the way up. My body is too weak. Anyone have any advice? I had to go to court on Tuesday and sit in the same room as my husband. I cried the whole time. What he has done to me hurts a lot. I am to the point where I just don’t want to hurt anymore. I am so tired of hurting. I wish I was locked up so that I could get a break from life, hurt, and be safe from myself. I SI and that aslo bums me out. I have a lot on my plate and the plate is tipping in the wrong direction. Why can’t someone hear me.?
I hear you Angel. I had to do court stuff with my father, and he sat and lied several times, until I was suicidal. He made my life hell, and I actually started trying to die. But now that I look at it, it was another thing I shouldn’t have done. Having alot on our plates is no excuse to SI, we must remember that. It’s never an excuse, because things can always be handled and dealt with. The things that happened to us previously will scar us forever, that’s absolute. But they will not haunt us…we will move on with our lives. You can move on with your life. Being safe from yourself doesn’t mean being locked away. You just ahve to learn to control yourself in your own environment. When you’re home, lock yourself in a room. Even if you can get out, tell yourself tehre’s no way out. Make sure there’s nothing to injure with in there. Surround yourself with God, write, draw, pray, all that. It will help. I’ve done it so many times. I hope you’ll be okay, and I’ll pray for you a zillion times over. Good luck, <333! -rescue.
I just got your comment in my e-mail Angel. How did you get my e-mail, I’m curious, or did you just privately respond or something? You have to teach me how to perate this site better, hahaha. Well yeah, I’m so glad. That phone call, that was God’s doing. I honestly have gotten all this knowledge from just reading, and learning, and living through things and realizing them. My dad was a huge part of my life that screwed up my childhood through emotional abuse, and I’ve learned to move on from that as well as take it and just leave it all behind me. I’ve been told I’m pretty articulate, actually, by several people. And I’m hopefully going to publish a book, my autobiography, within the next year or two. I’m working now on a self-injury help book, too. They’re based on the things I’ve been telling you and the others here. Live and learn, and pray. I’ll keep on praying for you, because I honestly care so much. Maybe I was sent here to help you, either way I’m glad I’m fulfilling my purpose. And I’m so thankful to be doing that! Much, much love.
<3, rescue.
AMEN! It seems as though you are reaching out to the wrong people. Just because they work in the medical industry does NOT mean they understand- case in point with your experience with the hospital. If people don’t go through it, they can’t possibly understand. There are doctors out there designated to this type of counseling for SIing. These are the people you want to go to and no one is better than our Lord. Pray for peace and safety and he will answer your prayers-the counselors, well, that will just be a bonus for you. Good luck and you are much loved and cared about. Keep blogging and let me know how you are doing.
Michelle