I want to SI so bad and probobly will before the night is up. I dont have urgers like i used to, where i felt like i NEEDED to si. I dont feel that way anymore, but right now im just so depressed. I’v been thinking about suicide again,and i havent done that in a long time. I dont WANT to die, but i dont want to live either, at least SI will make me feel a little better, at least it will help me get through the day. I havent SI’d in over a month, i used to be obsessed with how many days iv gone without it, but not so much anymore, all i can say is that i did it almost two months ago, and iv only done it once since christmas, and i had gone like two months without before that. I know that SI is wrong, but it helps me cope like nothing else seems to right now. I just dont know what to do.