So, its a beautiful day here, almost 85 degrees today!! I went to a friend’s new home today!!! She is due in 12 weeks and engaged!!!
I was sitting there as I am 24 years old, thinking about the day when I have children of my own. I wonder how I will explain my body to them? But, when that day comes, I guess that’s when I will deal with it.
Its hard being in recovery. A lot of the time I feel useless. Like today is a good day. I’ve done so much today and I haven’t even thought of SIing, until a little bit ago. My boyfriend picked me up and he is distant today. Now, he is in recovery, not for SIing though. He will have a year on the seventh!! But, like Þoday, he is distant and like an idiot, I feel like its my fault. Here I go, back to that mind frame. A lot of the time I feel like I am not good enough. I feel like my body is sooo damaged, he deserves someone with pure skin. I know that is not the case, but today I feel like that.