So i havnt posted on here in awhile… had so much going on, not all of it good, at one point i got to 12 days without injuring, which i was proud of. But of course i slipped up. I thought i was in the right place to try and beat that, but so far im on 4 days, and i’ve got so much going on, and im trying to be strong for friends ’cause i feel they need me more. When they ask how i am, i lie, and just say im fine, i dont want them to feel like they’ve made me feel bad, and i know they dont like that i worry about them, but even if they kept on saying they were fine, i dont think i would worry any less. Tonight i managed to help my friend, and get to see her before she done anything. Which made me feel good, I just can’t help worrying about the next time she feels down. It’s like I’m falling, and everyday I feel worse and worse, and im afraid of the day when I have no reason to try and beat that 12 day record, no one to help me through it, no one to help me celebrate when I get a week or whatever… Right now im close to injuring, and I don’t know who to talk to… my parents think I’ve stopped for good, and I don’t want to trigger my friends, I feel so alone, and useless all at once and it sucks 🙁 sorry if this makes very little sense, im a bit all over the place right now..