So i havnt posted on here in awhile… had so much going on, not all of it good, at one point i got to 12 days without injuring, which i was proud of. But of course i slipped up. I thought i was in the right place to try and beat that, but so far im on 4 days, and i’ve got so much going on, and im trying to be strong for friends ’cause i feel they need me more. When they ask how i am, i lie, and just say im fine, i dont want them to feel like they’ve made me feel bad, and i know they dont like that i worry about them, but even if they kept on saying they were fine, i dont think i would worry any less. Tonight i managed to help my friend, and get to see her before she done anything. Which made me feel good, I just can’t help worrying about the next time she feels down. It’s like I’m falling, and everyday I feel worse and worse, and im afraid of the day when I have no reason to try and beat that 12 day record, no one to help me through it, no one to help me celebrate when I get a week or whatever… Right now im close to injuring, and I don’t know who to talk to… my parents think I’ve stopped for good, and I don’t want to trigger my friends, I feel so alone, and useless all at once and it sucks 🙁 sorry if this makes very little sense, im a bit all over the place right now..
have you thoughts of letting your friends help you, instead of you helping them all the time? Sounds like your always there for them, and I’m sure they will be there for you as well. I see you don’t want to trigger your friends, which is understandable, but think about yourself as well and your well being. Talk to your friends, let them know your thoughts, and perhaps they can be there to celebrate when you make one day or a week without SI – thats something to be proud of 🙂
I agree with wolfygirl83. Don’t be afraid to let your friends help you. You’ve helped them so let them help you. You don’t always have to be the strong one for them, its ok to let them know you are struggling that is part of friendship. And you shuld talk to your parents as much as you don’t want to I’m sure. they want to help you get better just as much. Congradulations on making 12 days, I know that is hard to make it that long. If you ever need someone to talk to that isn’t your parents or your friends because you don’t want to trigger them feel free to email me. My email is dashdollie10@yahoo.com. I hope you can get better this road to recovery isn’t easy.
~Melody