Yesterday nite i told one of my closest friends that i SI. You know what she said? She said okay, just to not let it get out of hand. That just made me really sad. I thought you know she would want to help or be concerned. But, i guess not. Also, i told one of my friends that i felt like SIing ( he already knows and is also whatever about me doing it) and he asked me why and i told him and he said that my reason was something he was going through and i said life sux and he said no and i said well at least mine does, and he ended up changing the subject. So, he is no help either. But, tonight kind of made up for it. I was talking to my bf and I asked him if i could and he said no and that i could do this and that i don’t need to SI. Nd he just made me feel better and supported me like i need him to. He helped me unlike all of my closest friends. He stopped me from making a huge mistake. It has been almost a week since i have SI. Thursday will be a week and hopefully with my bf ‘s support i will be able to turn that into two weeks and a month and then forever. He is doing good too. He wants help too, but talking bout it isn’t exactly his thing. He hasn’t SIed for almost two weeks now. Im proud of him and he makes me want to push myself harder. But, its really hard, for the past two days all i can think is SI SI SI SI SI. Over and over. Its sooo hard. I hope i can at least make it to a week.
love, Babygurl <3