Hi this Holly and I was in the SAFE program back in June and July of 08. I don’t know if anyone that I was there with looks at the posts but I’m hoping they do and I hope staff looks at the blog especially Lauren. I now know that as hard asit was to go to SAFE it turned out to be the best thing I ever did do in part to the people I was there with and the staff but I also know that I had to do the work I was never willing to do before.I am very proud to say that I have not self injured since May of 2008.I won’t even try to tell you that it was easy because it definately was not.I have had to put alot of the skills I learned into action and have had to learn to use my support systems but it has definately been worth. So many things have happened since July some good some not so good and some great.When I was in Texas my mom was very sick and my daughter was pregnant.I had virtaly know relationship with my middle daughter had pretty much know chance of my youngest daughter ever living with me again.Well my mom got very sick and ended up living with me the one my family thought was worth nothing well its amazing what you can do when you believe in yourself and that you do have self worth.I ended up taking care of her until she passed away in January.Even though losing my mom was one of the worst things that ever happened to me I was so proud of myself because I was able to allow my mom to stay at home which was her one request.On to happier things, my daughter had a baby girl in October. She is the light of my life and my daughter has enough trust in me that she lets me keep her 3 days a week while she is out of town working. My middle daughter and I now talk everyday and she visits once a month and is moving back to the town I live in. The newest thing that has happened is that in febuary the courts and children services changed my 16 year olds goal to return home and she will be living with me by August 1st. None of this would have been possible if I had not made the choice to take the 26 hour bus trip to the SAFE program. I hope that if people see this that have either just been to safe or are going my story will let them know that all things are possible if you are willing to work for them and fight through the hard times.I really want to thank Lauren and I want her to know that I now know I have self worth and that the mistakes I have made in the past do not define who I am Thank you Lauren and all the staff at safe being there truly changed my life
That’s great, it’s almost going to be a year! I’m so proud of you, Holly! Congratulations on your daughter’s return, and I’m very sorry about your mom. But the one thing I can tell you is that, you should remember you are loved. I’m glad you got so much out of SAFE…it seems to be a great program and I am blessed to be helping the people here, because I myself used to self injure, and I have my 20 day recovery mark tomorrow!
Thanks for all your support guys, it really means alot. I’ll be here for you <3 You’re all in my prayers, you too Holly08. I wish you so much continued success.
Please know that your blog comes at a time in my life that is very very painful. My only hope right now is to get into the SAFE program. I have NO tools to keep me from S.I. I wanted to die today. The pain is so painful and I am so tired of fighting the past abuse on my own. I need help. I just hope I get it in time. I wish I would have found this blog so long ago. I feel so good that I can have a voice here, and also be with people who understand SI-ing. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Please pray that I can get in the SAFE program soon so I can get some better ways of coping other than hurting myself.
I pray for all of you, each and every day. Reach out for help, don’t wait for it.
WOW!!! I want what you have. I am already on way there, I know it is going to take a lot of work and a lot of time. But, I am ready to do whatever it takes. I want a family one day…I want to be in control of my life and my emtions. I’m tired of not being in control of my life.