I haven’t SI’d for 8 days now and that is a record for me for a while. Every day \i struggle with the thoughts of wanting to SI to make the pain go away. I sometimes forget the pain that SI causes cause it is what I know and what I am comfortable with. I see a great therapist who doesn’t judge me for my actions but tries to show me that I am a good person who doesn’t deserve to hurt herself. I trust her completely and yet I still go back to SIing and most of the time it is daily!!! I don’t know what to do….I have tools that I have learned from the Safe Group and also resources that my therapist has given me but I don’t know why I always choose to SI instead. I don’t know if I am making sense as I am all over the place!!! I want to stop SIing sometimes and for some reason…sometimes I don’t!! I know that I need help before it is too late and something happens!!! I get mad at myself for my thoughts and feelings that I shut down and SI!! HELP!! Someone please say something!!! *tears*
I get this sometimes too…it’s been sixteen days for me, and honestly, when I am in recovery, every single time, I have withdrawal, and my body shuts down and I feel depressed. But, you can’t give up. The thing you have to do, is just keep your thoughts in check. If you stop thinking, you lose rationality, resulting in self-injury. Don’t let it continue. Please. The thoughts that you have making you want to continue SI-ing are normal. We, at first, don’t want to stop because it is in our minds that we’re fine and we don’t have to. DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN AND TRICK YOU! That’s what happens.You have to be strong and try really, really hard to ignore it. No matter how bad and negative your thoughts and feelings are, you can’t let them take over. You control you, not the bad stuff. You can do it. Rely on God, He’s a great resource. He’s always our light in times of darkness…always. He never, ever abandons us. Just believe you can do it, believe you can stop. And eventually with the right guidance, you will.
Before I decided to SI, I usually ask myself if it’s really worth it. I mean, to SI may relieve oneself, but in the end, it’s just another scar or injury to remind each of us what we just went through. Do you think it’s worth hurting yourself?
I believe in you that you can stop your pain.
-Lessthanzero
Hi. This is my first time to a sight and blogging. I feel your pain. I understand. I wish I could help, but probably not, as I have the same kinds of feelings. Please feel free to blog me back. I would like to keep in touch. I am on the computer almost all day and will check often. Yesterday I sat on my bed wanting to SI and realized I really do need professional help. I am trying to get into SAFE. I have NO tools. Can you share some of the things that you think may help me when I want to SI. Thanks