I haven’t SI’d for 8 days now and that is a record for me for a while. Every day \i struggle with the thoughts of wanting to SI to make the pain go away. I sometimes forget the pain that SI causes cause it is what I know and what I am comfortable with. I see a great therapist who doesn’t judge me for my actions but tries to show me that I am a good person who doesn’t deserve to hurt herself. I trust her completely and yet I still go back to SIing and most of the time it is daily!!! I don’t know what to do….I have tools that I have learned from the Safe Group and also resources that my therapist has given me but I don’t know why I always choose to SI instead. I don’t know if I am making sense as I am all over the place!!! I want to stop SIing sometimes and for some reason…sometimes I don’t!! I know that I need help before it is too late and something happens!!! I get mad at myself for my thoughts and feelings that I shut down and SI!! HELP!! Someone please say something!!!         *tears*