I was literally just one second away from ending it. I had already started SIing. but i just got so scared. i had butterflies and i was trembling. im crying and scared. this is the closest ive ever gotten to that. it is so scary. i really want to SI. i need to SI. but i cant. if i do, i may lose everything. no exaggeration. i need help but i dont know how. im spiralling downward into a horrible depression and i dont know how turn myself back around.
You can keep going, you can. I have so much faith in you. You can do it, I’m not kidding. You can live without SI. You don’t lose everything. Protect yourself from yourself, and stay calm. Just breathe. The first thing you have to do, is just think. Keep your thoughts in check. Just let your conscience stay with you. Then, grab the phone. Dial a friend. Talk. After you check with them to make sure you’re okay, go for a walk, get out of the place where the triggers are. The impulse will leave your body…this isn’t a joke. It works. This is all such a scary thing, I know. I’m going through it with you. I did last night. It seems so simple, but all I had to do is leave the room, and go sleep on the couch. I was okay after that. If I can control myself, so can you. I’m praying for you, hang in there.
Ditto what ‘rescue’ said. You can make it!! We’re all here makin’ it with you. I actually pretty much had the same experience last week and it freaked me out sooo bad. I was shaking and hanging onto my dresser to support my weight, realizing that if i SI’d again it might be the last time, given what I was doing. I called a friend, spent a couple days at someone else’s house (to get away from triggers), and talked to someone else at greater length about it. Just talk it out with someone else… it seems too simple, i know. But it really does work! I am in a completely different state of mind, just having discussed all of that with someone else. I’m still here and you can be, too. I’m praying for you. : )
Suicide is never the answer. I know sometimes it seems like it is, but its not. Please get help. If you seriously are thinking about suicide PLEASE call 800-SUICIDE. Its scary and no fun, but you can get through this and hopefully get stronger from it. You can fight this, you can keep yourself alive. I dont even know you, but i BELIEVE in you, I believe in everyone on this site, coming here is the first step, but if you are that serious that you were close to suicide, then you need more help than you are getting. So please get help.
oops i must have misread your post, or not understood, when you said “ending it” i immidiatly though you meant suicide, but i reread your post and realized that you might not have, so sorry if my comment didnt mean much sense. BUt my believing in you comment still stands.
🙂 sorry for the mistake, i need to read more carefully
Wait, i reread it agin and im second guessing myself again. Sorry.
and there’s a typo in my last post, i meant to say make much sense instead of mean much sense.
I really need to think more before i write these comments
SORRY. . . again
hahah balletfreak, its okk that u made typos and stuff dont worry and thanks