life is crap right now. my mom found a lot more scars on me the other day and totally freaked. she is now either going to send me to a therapist or check me every 4 days. she said “now everyone and their mother is going to know you SI. i am going to put a stop to this.” i was like umm mom you can controle this. she makes me so mad. she is trying to controle it and it is making everything worse. and many of you know that if someone tries to controle your SI that it only makes it worse. i also think i am developing an eating disorder which is kinda scary.  i really dont want to have an eating disorder. what i do need to learn is how to cope with pain in other ways besides through destructive ways. i dont know what to do. and i am not going to be forced into counseling again. ughh i am just scared. i dont know what to do anymore. i feel helpless, i feel like i cant cope with anything unless i injure. i hate this and i hate being chained to addictions but i know no other way how to cope with pain. and i love injuring.  i just dont know what to do…