I hate life. Today i think ive cried the most i have in so long. it is horrible. I SIed yesterday and cried myself to sleep. Today at school i didnt participate and talk to people. I went to my phsyciatrist and only answered her questions with yes, no, or i dont know. the anti depressants arent working at all. i only have 1 good friend to count on. my mom doesnt understand what im going through, although she believes she does. i love my dog more than anything, and i start to cry everytime i think about her dying. all i can think about is getting into car crashes and what my life would be like ifi died. I dont know why im so upset. What caused this? A couple days ago i was fine. Now today all i can do is cry. Im hurting so much and once again im running out of hope. Nothing is working. i finally was excited to learn that when i take anti depressants i will feel better. but that didnt happen. i the same or worse. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need help but i refuse to take if for no reason. im so tired and lonely and desperate. when will this change. when can i finally feel better?????????????????????? please leave a comment with any advice or comments or anything. thanks : )
there is no answer to “when will this change” or why is this happening or when will it stop. there are times in our lives where we go way off the road we’re on, and it’s up to us and up to God to fix us. Stopping the injuring is something I’ve found I must turn to God to do. I used to injure, and now I’m on God’s road to my recovery. I would suggest you take things one day at a time, and if you believe in God, ask Him for strength and courage to make it through the day…because you can make it, without harming yourself. It’s possible, if you let it happen. You also need to build a community. Have anyone, people you can count on. My mom still doesn’t get what I used to do…she doesn’t understand what could make me so upset and so low. I even told her that it made me feel better. When I said that, I was lying to myself. It doesn’t make us feel better, it doesn’t fix or change our problems…it gives us a place to run away from the things we’re dealing with… and that’s not okay. Not at all. Even though your mom may not understand, there are people out there that do, including me. And you have all those people to go to. Take that option while you can! You are loved, don’t worry.
we all know it is hard but sometimes you just have to trudge through it and hold your head up if you need to talk we can exchange email or something
Man that sucks. Its good to cry sometimes, just to let it out. I feel like you do a lot, but im not on anti-depressents because my mom dosent believe in giving teens medication that ‘supress the inner emotions’ Its a load of bs if you ask me. I dont know too much about you, but if you like music, try that. I listen to music at night, and it makes it a little easier to keep your mind of depressing things. I try to find songs I can relate to (ie: Young and the Hopeless by Good Charlote) It helps me, and it might work for you. 🙂
If you need to talk, you can email me at:
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