I dont know what to do anymore. I havent SId in a while, about a week. Probably b/c im now going out with this guy. Hes really nice, and i like him a lot, maybe even love him. It sounds wierd, but we have known each other for a while now, and we are finally dateing. I was on could 9, untill i got my grades back. I’m failing almost EVERY class. I probably wont pass the grade, and i wont be able to stay at the school anymore. And I will lose him. Usually all these thoughts i can keep out of my head, but my aunt was staying with us yesterday, so i couldnt play music when i went to sleep. I never knew why I did that untill today. I think the music distracts me from all the painful thoughts, b/c without the musci last night, it was pure torture. I was curled pp in a ball, feeling like the weight of the world was sitting on my chest. It hurt so bad, i wanted to cry or scream, and worst, I wanted to SI. All i could think was SI SI SI SI…. i almost lost it. I dont know what im gonna do if it happens agian. And the worst part if going to school and faceing him, and wanting so bad to tell him, hopeing he would understand, wishing that i could just lean on him, and everything would be ok. Im sick of all this, and i dont know how much more i cant take.