So I’ve been feeling pretty hopeless lately. Nothing is going right. I seriously can’t stand my life right now. At school I feel so alone and it’s driving me to insanity. The past keep coming up to haunt me and I have no one to talk to. My grandma died two years ago, and I know you’re probably thinking right now ‘So what? She was old.’ Well that’s true, but we were really close and the last night I was able to spend some time with her, I backed out to see a movie with my friends. I’ve hated myself for doing that ever since. I dont know why, but ive been thinking about her alot lately, and what really sucks is none of my friends care enough to listen, and i cant talk to my mom because whenever my grandma is mentioned she’ll start crying. My dad is constantly on my case about my grades, which he has the right to be because I have an F, D, C, and the rest As. But by the time i get home from suffering at school i dont want to do anything besides sleep. I hate it, and I hate my life. I have been trying like crazy to stop SI but its coming back just this time theres nothing. I used to feel relief, but now its just nothing. It’s like im numbed to any kind of emotion at all. I really just want to give up… Just have it be the end.