Its just something that has become natural for me. I don’t even know when or how I started but I have been doing it for years. It has always been something I do to cope but a lot of the time I find I just do it out of habit. I’ve never actually told anyone that I SI. This is the closest that I have actually gotten to it. A friend of mine that I met in September has figured it out though. She simply sent me a text message telling me not to be doing it. She was very non-intrusive about it and she hasn’t said anything to me and I have seen her several times since. I want to talk to her as I think it is something that she has dealt with before. Maybe she is waiting for me to say something now? Perhaps she was telling me that I could talk to her? The thing is, if I admit it to someone, I will be pressured to stop. I trust her but I keep getting a sick feeling in my stomach when I even think about stopping now.
You should tell you friend… she may have gone through the struggles of SI before but who knows. The only way you’ll truly know is if you ask her and share your stuggles with her. I know it’ll be extreamly hard to tell someone what you do to your body to make the stress go away but, in the end it will so be worth… I PROMISE!
if you ever need to talk email me at emo_chick44608@yahoo.com