So i havent injured n almost 3 months now. Im wondering tho, is it really recovery when im walking around n a fog of depression? Is it really recovery, when im still obsessed w si? Am i really any better off 4 quitting? Sometimes i think, if i could just do it one more time, i would feel so much better. Maybe it would take away the more dangerous thoughts im having. I no i need 2 make an appointment w my therapist this week, but im afraid 2 cause im afraid that if im really honest about how i feel, shell put me n the hospital. I just dnt no anymore, i should b celibrating recovery not morning it.
I know how you feel and actually I give you a lot of credit for being able to put into words what I’ve been feeling. Believe me SI is horrible if you do it but if you don’t do it then it will become all you think about…you can be in class taking a test and your mind will drift to it and you will wonder, you could be talking to ur friends and your mind will start thinking about it, you get the idea I’m sure. But either way it will become obsessive. Be honest with her and if you go into the hospital…maybe its how your supposed to recover maybe your supposed to be in that hospital and it will help you. You deserve to be helped and please do it before it SI haunts you like it does to me where I finally had to give in again tonight. When you get help you will be celebrating recovery! But you need help first!
You should defenately tell your therapist and be honest. I know the tought of going to a Mental Hospital scares you but maybe it’ll help. who knows 😮
if you need to talk email me at…
emo_chick44608@yahoo.com