ive been good for the past month almost. which is really good. Im glad im good.  Good is always good. Maybe its because im over him. maybe im happy with how it is now. i can just be like no i dont want to see you, or ok ill see you in 10. it makes me feel like a better person almost, even though im being “promiscuous” to some people. i dont understand why, i dont feel dirty, i feel comfortable with him. we’re really good friends, i can tell him anything, and we can do whatever we want together. so i dont really care what anyone says. im glad im single i guess. it makes it easier on us. maybe thats why i havent si-ed.  i hope so. i really wanted to two night ago, but i didnt. which makes me proud of myself. but what if i cant control it next time.  thats what always bothers me. not having that self control when i really need it most. but then ive been free of si for almost a month now, why cant i get rid of my kit? my little pouch i cary everywhere that has everything i need it in? i dont need it right? i should just toss it. but i know if i do ill go out and get more. idk..  i think im on the right track.. at least i hope.