I’m so bummed. I have been so strong and doing so well, I havnt even had urges or anything. But now it is all I think about, I havnt given in yet but its so hard. I feel like I’m always at a mental battle with myself. Why do these thoughts have to consume me? I wish everything is how it was before I ever si-ed when I felt truly happy. Now all I ever feel is down, neutral, or numb… I miss that happy high feeling :(.

I’m going to my doctor on friday though so hopefully she will mix up my meds and help me some more. I’m not a fan of therapy (I just think sitting there talking about your problems with someone you dont really know is kind of awkward) so I tried a healing yoga today hopefully that will start helping if i keep going. 

Hopefully with healing yoga the urges will go away again and I can get along with my life. 🙂