I’ve been thinking for the last couple of weeks how I don’t want to go back and see my therapist & psychiatrist anymore to me it’s not worth it and I know for them it’s a waste of time treating me. I haven’t really stopped SIing for good and the urges have gotten out of control. I don’t want to be in therapy and hrting myself at the same time to me it’s either one or the other and right now therapy is totally out. I want to be left alone and not have any ties to anything or anyone. no one gets that I’m beyond hurting I’m numb and can’t feel anything and no one or nothing is going to make me feel any differently. I’m anger all the time and all I hear in my head is just get out you don’t have to be in therapy. I also hear inside my head saying that you have to stay away and by staying away you will prove that no one will miss or care about you anyway. Tonight I could feel the pressure is on and that I have the urge to just give in and say the hell with it. Nothing last forever expect the earth and sky everything else just slips away.