I just feel like letting everything out..

It started at my old school.  I had lots of friends, school was easy, and nothing was wrong.  6th grade, i had a boyfriend and i was happy.  then i graduate that school and start over at a whole new school. at that school i dont know anyone and i realize that it’ s hard to start making friends all over again.  I fogot who i was and became so shy.  But then i becom best friends with this girl.  we would laugh all the time.  but she would always get mad at me for no reason and get so emotional.  by the end of 7th grade i was so much more emotional.  8th grade. me and that girl arent best friends anymore.  i am friends with girl #2.  we hang out a lot and have lots of fun. we have all the same classes and it was great. but then whenever i needed to tell her something important so was always with another friend.   She would sometimes ignore me.  It hurt me so much. but i had no other close friend. So i just put up with it. even though i knew i was so depressed and i cried all the time.  i was hopeless. then i start to become friends with girl #3. she is really a great friend. we are still best best friends.  But i got to a really low point. so i SIed.  girl #3 was the first to know and i was glad that she actually cared. i told my other friend and she cared too but i stil felt depressed. I was still crying all the time and was so sad.  I was so shy in front of anyone and i couldnt be myself. i was only barely happy.  then i shoplifted, got arrested, suspended from skool, my parents saw all my many injuries and i went to a phsyciatrist.  but i was still depressed and i still SIed.  in the summer i SIed at camp because i felt left out. every little think triggered me.  9th grade. i was feeling better because of the therapy but things were still bad.  I was still sad.  so then finally my phsyciatrist prescribed anti depressants for me.  i feel so much better but still i get upset.  Ive SIed once since i have been on the pills but i actually do feel better. it is easier to communicate with my family. and finally after 3 years i feel like i can finally be myself in front of other people.  and this i think is the beginning of the brighter path…or maybe something small will happen again and i will SI again. i dont know, all i can hope for is things to become better. but i know it wont be easy and i wont happen overnight.  I just wish to live my life to the fullest and be happy. that is all anyone can wish for. so hopefully it will come true. but i still am not sure yet.

okay i have been rambling on for a long time, but that made me feel better. talk to you guys soon