i have not si in a while but things are getting harder and it feels like i have to! i dont want to and i know its wrong i just feel as if i am all alone
Just remember- you never actually have to si. Step back for a minute or two and remind yourself that it’s a choice. If you think of it as something you have to fight, eventually it will wear you down. But if you think of it as something you have power over, it will be way easier to recognize that not only do you not have to do it, but in the end, you won’t want to do it.
As for feeling alone…are you really alone, or do you just feel alone? Are there people you can talk to in real life about this, whether or not you feel their presence right now? If there aren’t, you need to start building a support network, pronto. Friends, support groups, therapists, teachers, family, even people here- whoever works best for you. If you already have a support network, use it. Even if you feel alone, or like you can’t confide in them, you can. They would much rather be able to help you than know that you hurt yourself and they couldn’t do anything about it.
Also, final word of advice: I made it over ten months and just relapsed last weekend. But after having gone for that long, and built up all of the support and other coping methods that I had been using, I felt absolutely no relief- just horror and guilt over what I had just done. I confessed it to my friends (who are my main support network at the moment), and they were upset, but very much there for me. Knowing that it doesn’t help has somewhat killed the temptation for me, and knowing that people really do care and are affected by it gives me even more motivation not to do it.
Congratulations for making it this far. Now work to make it even farther.
Just remember- you never actually have to si. Step back for a minute or two and remind yourself that it’s a choice. If you think of it as something you have to fight, eventually it will wear you down. But if you think of it as something you have power over, it will be way easier to recognize that not only do you not have to do it, but in the end, you won’t want to do it.
As for feeling alone…are you really alone, or do you just feel alone? Are there people you can talk to in real life about this, whether or not you feel their presence right now? If there aren’t, you need to start building a support network, pronto. Friends, support groups, therapists, teachers, family, even people here- whoever works best for you. If you already have a support network, use it. Even if you feel alone, or like you can’t confide in them, you can. They would much rather be able to help you than know that you hurt yourself and they couldn’t do anything about it.
Also, final word of advice: I made it over ten months and just relapsed last weekend. But after having gone for that long, and built up all of the support and other coping methods that I had been using, I felt absolutely no relief- just horror and guilt over what I had just done. I confessed it to my friends (who are my main support network at the moment), and they were upset, but very much there for me. Knowing that it doesn’t help has somewhat killed the temptation for me, and knowing that people really do care and are affected by it gives me even more motivation not to do it.
Congratulations for making it this far. Now work to make it even farther.