I’ve been sitting around practically doing nothing for the past 3-4 weeks thinking I know what’s wrong, I know how to fix it, bit I’m just so tired mentally that the only thing I’m feeling well maybe not is numb.  I don’t think I’ve lost the battle I know I have and when I get this way my only thought is that wouldn’t be better if I wasn’t around so no one would have to put up with my depressed attitude or anything like that.I know that I’ve done everything, but throw away the keys.  You know something no one wants to listen to me when I say that I know I will always be a loser and like loser don’t deserve anything or to have anyone in me live, I don’t want to bring anyone into this. I just haven’t stopped thinking about that and day by day the believe get carved into stone a little deeper.  I can’t!!!!