i’ve only injured myself twice in the last two years, but i can’t keep doing this. i am failing out of college that my parents are paying for with money they don’t have. i haven’t done anything that i was supposed to for the two clubs im a part of. i’ve let down everyone i’ve ever known. i went out with the love of my life for 8 months. i made her my everything, i really loved her and i still do. i did EVERYTHING she asked, everything… and she did nothing for me. i kept rationalizing it. i convienced myself that it was worth it and things would get better. things never got better. i put more than what i had into this relationship and it failed. she is single and flirting with all the guys i thought were my friends and they are more than willing to take my place. she is happier than i ever made her. she is happy now that i don’t exist. now that she is sleeping with my friends. i guess that im just realizing that i was used, she didn’t love me. i just did what i was told. i gave everything i had to her and she threw me away once she got bored with me and now i have nothing left to give to anyone. i have nothing left. i am empty, i am dead. im trying to keep clean but i can’t even stand where i am at right now. how do i move forward?
i know exactly what u mean. just two weeks ago my bf of broke up with me out of the blue after 7 months of a turbulent and confusing and frustratring relationship. so what’s the problem? some of my friends are asking me, why do you care if he made u feel so bad when you wer going out? well the honest truth is that i loved him. it can be so horrible feeling and im still getting over it myself, everything bad feels magnified times a million right now, but if u want to talk, please contact me at ganglynerdalways@yahoo.com, whether by email or yahoo messaging, both will do. i feel like we might be able to help EACH OTHER out, which would be nice, not as condescending feeling you know? until then, keep hanging in there. good luck!
-mina
I am so sorry to hear that it didn’t work out but from what you said it seems like it was for the best. If you stayed together it might have gotten worse. I understand how you feel somewhat because my boyfriend and I receny broke up. I made him my everything, my reason for living and now it feels like I don’t know how to live without him. It takes time but…it will heal.