i’ve only injured myself twice in the last two years, but i can’t keep doing this. i am failing out of college that my parents are paying for with money they don’t have. i haven’t done anything that i was supposed to for the two clubs im a part of. i’ve let down everyone i’ve ever known. i went out with the love of my life for 8 months. i made her my everything, i really loved her and i still do. i did EVERYTHING she asked, everything… and she did nothing for me. i kept rationalizing it. i convienced myself that it was worth it and things would get better. things never got better. i put more than what i had into this relationship and it failed. she is single and flirting with all the guys i thought were my friends and they are more than willing to take my place. she is happier than i ever made her. she is happy now that i don’t exist. now that she is sleeping with my friends. i guess that im just realizing that i was used, she didn’t love me. i just did what i was told. i gave everything i had to her and she threw me away once she got bored with me and now i have nothing left to give to anyone. i have nothing left. i am empty, i am dead. im trying to keep clean but i can’t even stand where i am at right now. how do i move forward?