I haven’t s.i.ed in 2 days and today would be the 3rd…if I make it. I’ve been having really strong urges all day and they’re getting harder to resist. They never go unnoticed. When I cross my arms across my stomach, I visualize myself with a sharp in hand and it takes all my strength not to make a noise in attempt to stop these wild thoughts. It completely distracts me from everything and I don’t need any more distractions. I’m sick and missing some school days so the days like today when I DO go, I need to stay focused. I want to talk to Jake about it because he always helps me but he’s still in school…I just hope I can make it. The weeks almost over. Only a few more days…a few more torturously long days…