I’m losing myself quickly, fading into nothing faster than vapor in summer. I don’t know what to do; I feel like crying at any minute and this headache will not leave me alone. I’m always worrying if someone will find out, somehow see my scars under my shirt. My heart is under heavy shackles; I can feel it being tugged down into my abdomen. My face is flushed as I try to control myself. Every little thing seems like a trigger, I just want to do it so badly, but someone is in the bathroom and my sister is in my room. I don’t know how to deal with this. My exboyfriend used to be my secret keeper, the one person whom I told everything. Of course, we’re not talking right now. My friend, Jake, the one person I tell everything, doesn’t know what to do either. He keeps telling me that I need to figure it out. WELL THANKS AHOLE. THAT’S WHY I CAME TO YOU. I just don’t understand him. I ask for help and he says I need to figure it out….WHAT?! I don’t know what’s going on with me. Every thought is bad, my hands already soiled before I even start. I can feel it in my dreams. I think about purging after every meal. I am losing control of myself and it’s scaring me beyond belief. I’m scared that I might start doing something more…they are openly available to me…all I have to do is ask my friend…I’m so scared…