I was just wondering if any of you are parents who SI. I have struggled with SI for some time and am now a parent. I would like to talk with other parents about some of the struggles you might have encountered and the hope you might have found.
Thank you.
Hi, I am a parent who used to SI. I have been free from SIing for almost 2 years, with 2 slip ups in those two years. I am 47 years old now, but I had been SIing for a while before I went into S.A.F.E. They gave me the tools to use when i want to self injure, so that I don’t. Even after almost 2 years, it’s hard not to self injure when a really bad trigger comes up, but as much as I want to si, I don’t. There is no one thing that I do relieves the pressure, I have a list of distractions, that I update. I had to get help though. My children were all teenagers and they knew what was going on and they were all extremely afraid that I would go too far accidently. That’s when I went into S.A.F.E., even though I’d been in therapy for several years. In SAFE, I made a true life long friend. We e-mail each other, we talk on the phone, I’ve flown halfway across the country to see her. She was my helper at SAFE. I would not be able to survive today without her. She listens to everything, if I ask her advice she gives it to me and if I just want to vent she listens and doesn’t give me advice because I haven’t asked for it. You need someone like her, a sponsor, who will be there to support you. If you haven’t been to see a therapist, I would find one, especially one that understands SI; not all do. You do need to stop though, especially now that you have a child. You need to find out why you are hurting yourself. It’s not going to be easy, I’m not going to say it will be a breeze. It will take a lot, I do mean a lot of hard work on your part to stop. Then it will be a day to day struggle , sometimes an hour to hour or minute to minute struggle to keep yourself safe from yourself. You are worth it. You deserve to live a life free of self injury. Find someone who understands SI and is not activily SIing at this time to be your sponsor. If you live in a small town like I do, there is always NAMI (national alliance for the mentally ill.) They can put you in touch with someone who can help. There should be a local chapter in your area, if not call the national number or look it up on the web to find out what they can do to help you. Take care of yourself first or you won’t be able to take care of that baby of yours.
I’m a 46-year-old parent who SIs; my daughter is 12. Until a pretty ugly breakdown that almost got me institutionalized a couple of months back, she didn’t know. She still only knows that mommy’s “all emo sometimes”–she understands that, and it’s good enough for now.
I’m in therapy and on medication; I’ve gone from daily SIing to two or three times a month.
The first struggle, obviously, was keeping it hidden; now it’s trying to figure out how much she needs to know/is ready to know/wants to know. She’s happy, healthy, and a good kid; the goal is not to mess that up with stuff she doesn’t need to deal with. Fortunately my husband is very supportive, so I can talk to him; there’s no urge to try to use her as a support. That’s probably the most important thing, to have someone you can lean on when you have to, so your child isn’t thrust into a role that isn’t hers to fill.
Which is all just to echo janielm; taking care of a baby is hard, stressful work, and you need to make sure you have all the support you need, so you can take care of the baby.
Thank you so much for your response. I am seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist and both have been very helpful but I still feel like there is a ‘hump’ to get over before I can truly begin recovery. I will definitely look into NAMI and finding a sponsor. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.
I’m so sorry, I should clarify–I have a 5 yr old and a 3 yr old, so while I still consider them babies they are a little older. My biggest fear is that I will never be able to stop SIing. I feel like I am a failure to them. My husband knows that I SI and he is very supportive, but I still can’t seem to stop.
hey, Im not a parent but my mom used to SI. I didn’t find out that she self injured intil a month after I told a her that I did. I found it ironic and kind of scary. She hasn’t SI-ide in a while that I know of and I hope she doesn’t relapse even though i recently did. Well gtg. bye bye and i hope this can help a lil bit. If you need any more info plz contact me at destinee.p@live.ca