i started s.i. this summer.. i am 15 and so unhappy. i hide all of the pain i feel through laughing, making jokes, and long sleeve shirts. when people see me laughing, they assume i am happy. when people see me making jokes, they assume i have fun. but when people see me wearing long sleeve shirts, they don’t assume anything.. and that is exactly the way i want it. when i started to s.i, it was superficial, but not anymore. i want to stop. but only a little part of me even wants to stop. the other part, wants to keep doing it. i lost one of my very best friends when i started s.i.. she said that she couldnt handle me doing it.. like i was doing it to her or something? i dont know. but we were the best of friends.. and this sounds so cheezy and so elementary school, but i honestly thought that we were going to friends forever. there was not a moment that we werent together. and then just she broke down and told me things were too hard on her. i have no one. i dont care anymore..