so its been 2 weeks since i last sied. it seems easy enough. 2 weeks is good. i havnt gone for 2 weeks in a while. but i cant help thinking…. well its been long enough, maybe i should.  i shouldnt need to. im doing ok. im not stressed out. im not freaking out.  i should be ok. but i keep thinking about it. its not something i want to think about, its just there. i wanna move somewhere. where im all alone. no ex’s, no so called friends, no family. i want to start new. i want to be a new person. change the image ive made for myself in other peoples eyes.  but while i CAN do all those things in time i will never be the new person i want to be. why? because theres scars all over my body.  all of them are hidden when im dressed, but how will i ever meet somone wihtout telling them why theyre there? how can i live with someone and have them worry that im going to slip up? my family thinks i stopped almost 4 years ago. they dont know i ever  started after that.  but im ok with that. i knew i had to do it less, and i like the amout i do. ( that sounds crazy huh? ) but i know i shouldnt.  but i havnt in 2 weeks. so why am i worrying about it? i shouldnt. i should just not think and go wiht the flow of things.  but it just seems everytime i hit 2 weeks i start wanting again. i keep wanting to do it over again.  well.. whatever. 2 weeks.  im going to try to make that 2 weeks and 1 day for now.