i’m tired of pretending everything is okay cause it’s obviously not. why is it that nobody can understand how i feel? i hate it..even my best friend is critisizing me now..i’m losing it. i’m losing myself. tonight is going to be bad, i can already tell..i’ve had the urge to SI all day…and i can’t get it out of my head. but it makes me feel so guilty after i do it…and at the same time i just feel relieved. tonight is worse than most though..cause i just feel like there’s no reason to go on with my life anymore. i’m so close to just giving up…i don’t know how to handle this anymore.
i understand how you feel. i do. yesterday the urge to si was so strong that i gave in. i understand that it is probably starting to take up most of your brain power, and its scary. i tried to talk to one of my friends, my best friend, and she laughed at me and said that it wasn’t real. please please please don’t give up. and as i am typing this i feel like i am saying things that i myself wouldnt listen to. but there is a reason for this. someday you will get past this. and you will be so much stronger. and you will be there, you will be there to help someone else who is going through this. you will be able to be the best friend that you dont have rite now. the one who wont critisize but instead the one who will help. if you need to talk. about anything, to someone who promises not to critisize, my email is cierra310@msn.com im here if you need it.