i’m tired of pretending everything is okay cause it’s obviously not. why is it that nobody can understand how i feel? i hate it..even my best friend is critisizing me now..i’m losing it. i’m losing myself. tonight is going to be bad, i can already tell..i’ve had the urge to SI all day…and i can’t get it out of my head. but it makes me feel so guilty after i do it…and at the same time i just feel relieved. tonight is worse than most though..cause i just feel like there’s no reason to go on with my life anymore. i’m so close to just giving up…i don’t know how to handle this anymore.