i am currently freaking out right now. why? well in this community there are many reasons. but today, my main reaons is: MY MOM FOUND OUT ABOUT MY SI.

i’ve been sick for the last few days.  so i was changing in the bathroom and my mom comes in out of no where.  she saw and started FREAKING OUT.  she just kept on asking WHY WHY WHY and i didnt know what to tell her. she knew i did it once, when i first started, but she thought i had stopped right after that.

i dont know what to do! she’s going to ask me all these questions that i most likely wont know how to answer. i mean, i know she’s my mom and if there’s one person who can help me it’s her. but i just dont want to tell HER out of all people. SHE is the main person i wanted to keep this away from. now that she knows who knows what’s going to happen next.

i need advice! what should i tell her?  she wants to know how i was feeling with each SI i have. it’s been a while since i last did it, and most of them have turned into scars. when she asked about it again, i just told her i didnt want to talk about it now, because i am currently still really sick. to put this ontop of everything else will be too overwhelming. so she’s given me a time limit. until next monday. its may seem a bit too long, but it doesnt seem like enough time for me.

i just really wish this never happened. if she never found out, i’d just recover from my sickness so much easier.

actually, since she found out, my condition as not really improved.

i guess i’m just really worried about what she’ll think of me…