I’m feeling very selfish for being in recovery. It takes so much time everyday to work the process of recovery… which for me includes going to “meetings”, doing “step work” (I’m doing a 12 Step Program), and journalling. I work 2 jobs, totalling 60ish hours a week, I take the bus everyday to work (1hr each way), and I spend almost every single lunch hour at work at a “meeting”. When I don’t work at night and can get a ride, I’m at another “meeting”. I frankly have little time to do ANYTHING!
I know recovery is a matter of life and death for me right now, but I still feel selfish for doing it. I’m never available for much “fun” and the only people I hang around are those who are also in recovery. We sit and talk/ listen to each other about “feelings”, which is rather intense, but it helps us all get through the hour we are together each time.
I’m feeling even more isolated now that I’m in recovery. Everything revolves around me trying to keep me safe from myself. Meanwhile, I’m highly triggered and feeling selfish all the time for trying to make myself a better person.