I can not stop thinking about it. I’m really just wanting to do it just to get past it in my head. I don’t even know if that made sense but basically I am completely obsessed with it. I hate that I can’t let this go! My counseling is going so well but I’m just so scared to let this go completely! Its who I am. Without it I have no idea what who I am basically. That sounds so retarded! but its true. its been what I’ve seen myself as for 10 years. Now what!?