I am new and found this sight right after injuring myself from about a month without doing it. I went to the hospital about four months ago for injuring thoughts of ending it. It was eye opening and helped me, though now that I am back it has been hard. My parents now understand me more and are the best; my cousin is horrid for she always looks down at me, while my little sister I love to death. With my depression I suffer from insomnia, paranoia and anxiety. So, even though I really don’t have any reason to injure I always find myself injuring. I have gone months without doing it but now…Haha, I am doing it once more. Oh lord, how it is so stupid. I find myself pathetic and make sure no one gets close to me. If they do, they harm me in the end. Kind of like my abusive boyfriend of three years ago. Oh yeah, another thought. I take unhealthy risks with men online. Sick is it not. Oh well, I am sure I will find someway to figure out what to do. I would go to sleep but nighmares are always waiting for me; showing me images no one should ever see.
I just joined this site yesterday, and this is the first time I’ve really logged in and I saw your post. I just want you to know, I also suffer from anxiety and insomnia, and I don’t have lots of reasons to s.i. either.
I just want to encourage you that there is a lot more to life than s.i.. I haven’t s.i. in 6 weeks, and life is easier. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to keep going sometimes. But just know that you aren’t alone. You will be in my prayers today! Keep going, it will be worth it.
Taylor
::hugs:: i’m sorry you are struggling so much right now. it sounds like even though you’ve gained more support from you stay at the hospital, you are still needing more acceptance and support from those around you.
there is also never “no reason” that you s.i. there is always a reason that you’d do it; don’t let others or even your mind tell you that “your problems aren’t bad enough” because it sounds like you’ve had a rough time.
have u ever seen a psychiatrist? do u see a therapist or anyone else? i don’t know if insurance is an issue for you, but there might be community mental health centers that can help you out if you want to.
if u ever want to vent/talk my email is siggphish4@yahoo.com
all the best. <3