lately i havent been allowed to stay home alone. i hate myself for the stress this puts on everyone. i wish my mom didnt have to worry so much, and i wish i didnt scare my friends. im afraid that at some point everyone will just get fed up with me and bail. i cant really expect people to stay through this. ugh and my grades are slipping because im distracted and my head is constantly pounding from stress. SI would make things easier, as would being allowed to be alone with my thoughts, but im avoiding both on my therapists strict orders. idk, its just all seeming like too much. its been a very bad few weeks.