So, I’m new to this, but I’m going to give it a try because I need something. I have self injured for five years now, as hard as that is for me to believe. When I first started I didn’t plan for this to take my life away, everything I have, every relationship ruined, but it happened. People say that you can’t live with regrets, but the thing is you can, it’s easy, especially when you’ve hurt so many people. I have done well in the past, I’m capable of not doing it for a long time, but it seems I always return to that old reliable habit. Lately, I’m sad to say, I have been slipping major. I’ve been getting into drugs and hurting myself and the spiral just keeps going. It’s a vicious cycle for me, my pain causes my actions and my actions cause my pain (guilt, shame, etc.) I feel like I’ve pushed everybody away, and the sad thing is I think that was what I aimed for at one point. I don’t want that anymore, but I feel like everyone is just getting so frustrated with me that they can’t take it anymore, and I can’t blame them. My doctor is out of the country until next week and that may not seem long, but I don’t know what to do to sustain myself until then. I feel like I have no help, like I’m alone and no one understands. Rationally, I know I’m not alone and that some people do understand, so I guess that’s the point of this blog. Does anybody out there get me?