I’m in love with my best friend. He loved me, too, but I refused to return the affection until I had a handle on myself (until I stopped abusing myself). It’s been quite a while, and he went out with another of my friends (they broke up a week or two ago) but my friends are segregated by relationships to the unhappy couple. I’m torn between the two…
And all the while I’ve been falling in my dreams. I’ve been wondering at my creativity, because I’m no longer sure if it’s not a symptom of insanity. Philosophy isn’t helping–for once–and I’m finding myself falling toward old habits. I’m not dependent but my best friend holds the title for a specific reason: he knows and cares about me. I’m cut off from that friendship in the teenage mayhem and yesterday my old friend informed me that she wanted to “get back together” with him. I was so close to giving up then.
When I’m with him I fly. I’m not caged and I’m strong enough to flap my wings whenever the winds aren’t hurricane quality. I’m just not sure anymore, though, how to love him without falling back far… the vast majority of my “friends” were opposed to the two of us even speaking.
People in relationships, PLEASE help. I don’t know how to ride the skies.
Yeah, it’s really hard when you have to follow all those unwritten high school rules of dating etiquette. I gotta say though, you seem to be handling it maturely, so that’s a major plus for you. I feel the same way about the whole sanity thing, sometimes I wonder if I really am crazy, how crazy I am, and how that affects me. But anyways, I’m not gonna tell you there’s plenty of fish in the sea, because there are but there are a select few that are meant to be for you. You sound torn between not wanting to hurt people, but want ing your own happiness, while not wanting to involve yourself in something that could just make things worse. The best I can say is that true love is rare and you really should fight for it, no matter how hard it is, because your happiness is worth it. My fiancee and I have many obstacles to our relationship, but we just keep trying to come up with new solutions all the time, fighting bc it’s worth it. Good luck in whatever you decide, I wish I could give you more specific advice and that things weren’t so difficult for you.