I’m in love with my best friend. He loved me, too, but I refused to return the affection until I had a handle on myself (until I stopped abusing myself). It’s been quite a while, and he went out with another of my friends (they broke up a week or two ago) but my friends are segregated by relationships to the unhappy couple.  I’m torn between the two…

And all the while I’ve been falling in my dreams. I’ve been wondering at my creativity, because I’m no longer sure if it’s not a symptom of insanity. Philosophy isn’t helping–for once–and I’m finding myself falling toward old habits. I’m not dependent but my best friend holds the title for a specific reason: he knows and cares about me. I’m cut off from that friendship in the teenage mayhem and yesterday my old friend informed me that she wanted to “get back together” with him. I was so close to giving up then.

When I’m with him I fly. I’m not caged and I’m strong enough to flap my wings whenever the winds aren’t hurricane quality.  I’m just not sure anymore, though, how to love him without falling back far… the vast majority of my “friends” were opposed to the two of us even speaking.

People in relationships, PLEASE help. I don’t know how to ride the skies.