Hi, im kinda new on here, but i needed to get some things out. Im 18 and ive only dealt with si for a couple of months now. It’s new to me and it hasnt gotten that bad. Only lately it has. I’ve become obsessed. I constantly think about it. Its just always on my mind. I cant stop my head from spinning all the time. This past week has been probably the worst week of my life and that’s all ive wanted to do…but i havent since monday. so its almost been 4 days. the longest i’ve gone is 9 days but i can never get past that. something always has to happen and i slip up. Its gotten to the point where i dont even know if i care anymore about trying to get help. I am lucky enough to have many people helping me with it. But i still do it. I just recently told my mom and we have a good relationship…but now things are so different. She just went off on my the other night about how selfish im being and just all this stuff…its not even the same anymore. The one person in my family that i could count i dont even feel like i can anymore. I just got a counselor and i like him. But honestly i dont even think i want to stop. I dont know how to and i dont even have the strength if i wanted to. Im just so worn out. I think thats all i needed to say. If anyone has any advice or anything…my email is firstname.lastname@example.org thanks everyone for listening.