Hi, I’m new. I’m not really sure what to do. My pastor linked me to this page as an outlet and to try and receive some support. I’ve been injuring myself for almost 10 years now. It’s such a struggle for me when I get overwhelmed. I don’t feel like I have anyone I can talk to without getting admonished or ostracized. I’ve tried taking anti depressants, and they don’t really help much. It does take me longer to get to the point of needing to injure, though. I’ve tried to stop injuring several times, but it always ends up being replaced by a worse habit. I’ve ended up injuring myself in less direct ways. I hide it everyday from my family and friends. I finally told my in-laws last summer, and they had me talk to my pastor at church. It helped to have someone to talk to and to diffuse the situation, but now I’ve moved away and I don’t know anyone here well enough to open up to them. I feel so trapped and overwhelmed. I don’t want to injure because I’ve been told that if anyone ever found out that they could take my daughter away from me. She’s my world, and my life would be over if that happened. It just gets to the point where I can’t stop myself and it just happens. I’m so scared and I don’t know what to do…
Delilah, I think it is great that you came here. It shows that you want to try and find some way to get better. I’m so glad that it now takes you longer to resort to S.I that is a sign that you are trying to stop even though it is very hard to stop. Stay close to your in-laws and pastor at church they are your immediate support system to go to. If it has helped to talk to someone maybe try going to therapy once a week or as often as you can, so you can find a healthy, effective way to stop that allows you to stop and not have it replaced by something else. Your love of your daughter is what is keeping you strong. Maybe when you think you are getting close to S.I’ing think about her and how much she means to you. Not that bad sideeffects that you could lose her no, shove those out of your mind. Think about how much she means to you and how much you love her. Being scared is all apart of the journey to recovery and this journey never has to be taken alone. One step at a time, day by day, find the strength that makes you want to succeed and if you stumble to be afraid that you screwed everything up, get back up brush yourself off and keep going. Delilah you will not lose by letting life kick you down, just don’t let it keep you down. I’m here if you need to talk. My email is dashdollie10@yahoo.com. Email me anytime, i will be another member on your bus on the road to healing.
~Melody