so my friend, my wonderful nest friend who i love to death, who also struggles with SI, is acting very… fake about it lately. like she told me she was cleaning her room and she found something she used to use to SI, so she tried it to compare.  so obviously i was worrying about her a bit last night and what-not, but today, when i saw her in school, she was not even trying to hide her injuries and they were so obvious! it made me wonder if it was just a call for attention. i know she hasn’t done it for attention in the past, shes in too deep to be doing it for attention any more if she was in the first place. but i dont know, this just made me think whos lying to me in this world. whos really having a hard time. its not helping my situation at all, which includes thoughts of… well, ending it. i dont know if i would ever do that. who would care [my answer to that: i counted 5 people who would really care] and i dont really like it… but what i like the least about it is that i dont want to tell my therapist. i dont know why,which is bad. but i dont know what to do about this, about anything any more.