Well I’ve been having a hard time lately. I went and saw my therapist and recently gave her 5 pgs about my childhood so that she could get to know me better. Last week i was fine talking about that stuff but this week i wasnt able to handle it. she talked about some of it and then i told her to stop. the damage was already done. i didnt talk and just wanted to cx the rest of my appts. i tried to deal with my emotions on my own. i just found myself becoming more angry. a few hours passed since the appt and i found myself becoming anxious. I wanted to feel happy and just release some of these feelings. so i SI’ed.  i drove myself to the ER because i needed some medical attention. the doctor was totally rude. she got up in my face and started telling me that SI was my own business and if i did that its fine but she asked me why i was there!. i didnt know why she was doing this…she was obviously uneducated about SI and didnt even bother to ask me why i did it or what was wrong. so i just got up and left. im so mad. i felt horrible. i called my therapist and talked her. i was at the point of just giving up on everything. she tried to help but then she made comments that she wanted to give up on me. she said i need more help than she can offer. she said she wasnt giving up but it sure sounds like it. so that just made me more introverted and i told her i didnt want to go to my appt on wed (today) i cx it. i do have another on friday but now i feel really stupid that i dont want to go. im worried about what she is thinking of me and if she even really wants to help me out. i know i should of gone to my appt today and i feel guilty for not goin. i just dont want her to think negativly of me…thats what im worried about and why im nervous about goin to my appt on friday.