Hey all so i thought I was getting better but im definatly not. I want to screm I want to just end I cant deal with it anymore. I want to tell someone but if i do and the miltary finds out im finished. im sick of putting that stupid smile on my face im sick of pretending to be someone im not. i cant do this, im done i just dont know how to tell some one. i want a job when im out of here i want to have a family and be “happy” but how can i im stuck doing something i hate. im stuck ni my room for 9 hours a day by myself because im the outcast. theres only so much you can do before you start to loose it. and i think that im almost there i played a 1 hr game of texas holdem with MYself how do you do that i SIed in front of my room mate yeah he was on the other side of the room slleping but what if he would have woke up. i dont know what to do and im getting scared and i cant be PTSD nothing has happened yeah we get mortared every now and again but other than that nothing.. i dont now what to do…………so i guess this is me screaming for help problly in the wrong place but its worth a shot i just cant let the MIL know